You know the film. It’s a film you have never heard of. The cast might be composed of actors you know and love or complete unknowns. You stumble across it on streaming and wonder if it will be worth two hours of your time. This series will be devoted to reviewing films like these, the strange items that pop up when you are looking for a flick on the streaming service of your choice. This is “We Found It On Streaming”
FILM: Noelle
Release Date: November 12, 2019
Run Time: 100 Minutes.
Streaming Service(s): Disney+
Rating: G
Santa Claus is dead. Long live Santa Claus! When Kris Kringle (Jay Brazeau) dies, as per tradition, the role of Santa Claus passed down to his son, Nick (Bill Hader). However, Nick is ill-suited for the job and he knows it. His sister, Noelle (Anna Kendrick), is tasked with filling Nick up with the Christmas Spirit in the hopes that will help Nick get over the hump and become a good Santa.
When Nick takes Noelle’s suggestion of taking a weekend off too much to heart and quits as Santa, Noelle becomes a pariah at the North Pole. Noelle takes it upon herself to bring her brother back. Tracking Nick to Phoenix, Arizona, Noelle hires a private investigator named Jake (Kinsley Ben-Adir) to find her brother. But when he’s found, Nick doesn’t want to go back. But if he doesn’t, his cousin Gabe (Billy Eichner), a tech-obsessed analytic who wants to cull the good list to about 2,837 people and then deliver their gifts via drone and Amazon, will become Santa.
Noelle is a throw-back to the Disney live-action films of the 1970s. If you lived through the 1970s, you’ll know that isn’t a complement. Like the films back then, it’s a film that expects to sail by on its high concept, a few corny jokes, a dollop of schmaltzy sentimentality, maybe with a cute animal thrown in for good measure. It doesn’t have to be good or make sense! It’s a kid’s movie for goodness’ sake! (Or, in the film’s patois, for garlands’ sake)
My main problem in the movie is that you know how the movie should end from just about the very first frame of the film. It is the way the film does end, so I am going to be a vague as possible in describing this. Let me just say that the solution to the problem is right there in front of you. The filmmakers are thinking that they are being really subtle with this plot point, but they aren’t. And the fact that it is not addressed by other character until the very end is frustrating and annoying.
As a result, you focus on the nonsensical plot points, awkward dialogue and general overall weirdness. Weirdness you say? Here’s an example. Shirley MacLaine is in this film. One of the best actresses of her generation. Academy Award winner. She plays Noelle’s nanny. Who is an elf. Elves in the movie have pointy ears., but you’d never know it by looking at MacLaine’s character. Either they didn’t want to force the 83-year-old woman to go through hours of prosthetic application, or she refused to have fake ears plastered over own ears, but she wears a series of headbands and ushankas to cover up her ears. It becomes a game to see what they will use they will hide her ears next.
I know what you are saying. You are saying I should be paying attention to movie instead of focusing on that. That’s my point exactly. I should be paying more attention to the movie. But I can’t because it is so rote and annoying. And it’s my focusing on that instead of the annoying and stupid plot short cuts the film takes is what helped me get through it. Jack finds Nick after becoming inspired after hearing the word yoga pants so soon after Noelle said Nick wanted to “breathe, stretch, and relax.” So, of course Nick became a yoga instructor! Don’t think too hard about that stretch of logic, or how Nick got that job, which surely requires training, a license, a permanent address or at the very least a social security number when Nick had all of two-day head start on Noelle. Writer/director Marc Lawrence has been involved with some pretty good films in the past, most notably Miss Congeniality, so we should have gotten better than this.
As for the acting, listen, I am a huge Anna Kendrick fan I have been since I saw her in Up in the Air. I even though she deserved an Oscar for that role. And she does do a good job here–playing Buddy the Elf. Yes, her character in this film is a carbon copy of the one Will Ferrell played in Elf. You’d expect there to be similarities–they are both people who were raised in the North Pole who come to America to track down a loved one and are awestruck and befuddled by the strange new world they find. But when your lead actress’ performance calls to mind a far better Christmas movie on a competing streaming service, you are in bad shape.
Kingsley Ben-Adir does well as Jake, bringing a lot to the role. He has a bright future ahead of him. Bill Hader is criminally under used. He lights up the screen every time he’s on it, but he is off it for most of the movie. MacLaine kind of sleepwalks through the film. Granted, her giving a low effort performance is still better than many other actor’s best performances, but you still get the opinion she was just waiting for the check to clear the bank. The rest of the cast, which features stars who were great in other projects such as Eichner, Julie Haggarty and Ron Funches, are basically one-note characters by design, only there for a plot complication or a bit of exposition.
Noelle is a disappointment. It was originally intended for a theatrical release, but was consigned to Disney+ before production on it was even over. I didn’t know then if that was a sign of confidence or a sign the film was in trouble. I know know it was the latter.
Have you found a film on streaming that you’d like us to look at? Leave it in the comments and it might appear in a future installment of this feature.
