New Releases: March 28, 2014

1. Noah (Paramount, 3,567 Theaters, 138 Minutes, Rated PG-13): What’s the deal with all these Biblical epics all of a sudden? I’m getting the feeling like I am back in the 1950s. Can’t wait for bobby sox and snarling singers from Tupelo, Mississippi to make a comeback as well. We’ve already had Son of God. We have this one this week, and soon, Christian Bale playing Moses in Exodus.

This film, naturally, focuses on Noah’s Ark and the Great Flood. With the advances in special effects technology, it makes sense that this one would make a comeback here.

The film has a great cast and is a story that is part of all the three major religions. But it seems to be more violent and more dark than any other version I have known about. We’ll see how it does, and if it will open the door for more Bible films.

2. Sabotage (Open Road Films, 2,486 Theaters, 109 Minutes, Rated R): The next stage of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s post-Gubernatorial film career continues. No, it’s not a remake of the Alfred Hitchcock classic, but a film that seems to meld the dark, gritty action dramas that were popular when Arnie was in office with more of his “plot only used to serve the action scenes” style of filmmaking that was popular in Arnie’s heyday.

The plot involves the ultimate team of DEA agents who take down a drug cartel. When some of the confiscated drug money comes up missing, the drug cartel begins killing the members of the team. It’s up to Arnie’s character to get down to the center of the mystery and get revenge for his fallen comrades.

I know this is not the kind of movie where you are supposed to think a lot about the plot, you just sit back and enjoy the explosions and shootings, but this plot makes my head hurt. Why would the cartel be killing DEA agents over a small sliver of the billions the agency confiscated being presumably in an agent’s pocket. Isn’t the fact that the confiscated all that money at all be enough to make them angry to go on a kill spree?

I’m sure the reason will come down to a plot twist that is stupid, predictable and needless.