New Releases: June 7, 2013

1. The Internship (Fox, 3,365 Theaters, 119 Minutes, Rated PG-13): When Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson paired for Wedding Crashers, it was like catching lightning in a bottle. It seemed like a perfect partnership, one that would rock in just about any plot you could throw at it.

Then came the ads for this film, where the pair reunites, and, well, it appears that I might have been wrong.

The film centers on two watch salesmen who find the Internet has put them out of a job (Because, hey, who needs watches when you have an Internet?). They manage to finagle their way into a chance at getting an Internship at Google.  Old age jokes and life-changing moments ensue.

The premise seems both forced and conventional. Forced in the sense that I find it dubious that these characters would ever be put in this position. Conventional in the sense that it will be a fish out of water comedy where they will teach their younger co-horts some valuable life lessons while they learn some themselves.  I’m sure montages set to crappy songs will play a part as well.

2. The Purge (Universal, 2,536 Theaters, 85 Minutes, Rated R): What was I saying about forced premises? This film’s makes The Internship‘s seem like a slice-of-life tale.

The premise for this one is that once a year, for a 12-hour period, emergency services stop. In this dystopian future, don’t call the cops because all crime is legal. Don’t call the fire department either, because arson is legal too. Don’t call for an ambulance, because if you die during this period, you die.

Now, I am willing to suspend my disbelief for a wild array of reasons. I am willing to believe that an ancient race of samurai with laser swords and telekinesis can fight a war against a evil empire with a technological advantage and win. I am not only willing to believe that a zombie apocalypse is possible, but that the person who has the best chance of surviving it is a salesperson for an British electronics store. I also believe that a mechanical genius can build a super reactor in a cave, using scraps, and use then it to power a suit of armor for himself. I, however, can not buy into this premise.

Now, I can see why it was used as a basis for this film. It is a high concept and it plays into the fears of being a victim of violent crime. I just don’t find the premise at all believable for a great number of reasons. I mean, really? Let’s start with the time span. Why 12 hours? Why not 24? What happens if you start a crime at two minutes before the time expires? And would everyone turn into crazed killers during this time period? Wouldn’t people be more likely to, say, steal an Xbox One than kill their neighbor? And there is a scene in the trailer where the bad guy is trying to gain entry into the fortress of a house. Instead of negotiating with the psycho threatening your family, why not just shoot him? That might actually be legal outside of the 12-hour period, but you’d be free from consequence if did it within. And what if Marv from accounting wants to rape your wife and daughter? What happens when you run into him at work the next day after he tries it? Can’t do anything to him, because what he did was allowed. I guess you’d have to wait a year for your revenge killing.

Grrr. I know this film is probably trying to make a statement about society. But the premise is so stupid and moth-eaten that it does not even deserve serious examination.